What's on your mind?

It's been a pretty crazy time in my life. I've been doing project management / engineering stuff for a company that gets subcontract work from the 4 new nuclear power plants going in in the southeast. It's pretty fulfilling to know that the work you're doing is having a direct effect on the viability of the nuclear industry and nuclear safety. My wife is finishing up her business degree in the next few months and I can't wait for her to get a good career job so the money will really be rolling in. I'm also set to start my Master's degree in engineering management this summer, with my job paying for the majority of the cost.

Life's good, dudes

how do i stop being so mad at myself for being stupid, and instead encourage myself to be smart? how do i not beat myself up for mistakes, and look at what i did right positively? because the mistakes are what costs and devastates me, and the positive outcomes are so miniscule and infinitesimal to me that it's like what i should be doing at all times.  maybe it's my upbringing. maybe i'm cursed to be mediocre at best and downright embarrassing to everyone involved at worst. maybe i'm burdened with too much shame. either way, i'm sick and tired of being unhappy with slow progress and awful results. i'm sick and tired of trying to analyze myself and fix myself and figure out what went wrong when other people (and i hate comparing myself to other people, i know other people introspect, i know other people work hard to be where they are and i'm just projecting my insecurities and stupid little protective superiority) seem so happy go lucky and don't ever second guess themselves regardless of whether they're wrong or right. i want to be better, and i know it's not instant and i know i have to work hard. but why does it seem like i'm always doomed to fail REGARDLESS of the work and effort i put in?

i shouldn't believe in luck or curses but i feel cursed. and fuck a self-fulfilling prophecy. i can fight the thoughts but i can't fight results.

This is on my mind, Doom, Oldschool Runescape, and throwing rotten eggs at 343s headquarter. 

just had a pretty intense weekend. tripped all night firday and didnt sleep, proceeded to film  and shoot photography for the even after another half bar and hydro. Open bar for the rest of the wedding then downtown for more drinks. Passed out like 3 am sat work up around 4pm yesterday. my love brought me food to recuperate then my friends brough PK's, bud and xan so im kinda back to square one.

well if it isn't mr. "i'm the literal termination of this whole ordeal [rape culture]" himself

I think I'm gonna quit masturbating for a while.  Or at least stop watching porn.  Watched this TED Talk and it's got me all fucked up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku-ACcAhtbo&t=0m58s

​maybe pick one up on the way home next to the milk

you should think harder since my post didn't imply i ever think about you

 

you should think harder in general

going to the annual local st pats drink until you fucking die on the sidewalk festival tmro with my homegirl. my sidenigga game shall be on point, last year we were so drunk she put her hand down my pants and walked me to the next bar like my dick was a leash. if youguys dont hear from me for a while im probably incarserated, again.

Just went into the back room of my parents house and dusted off the 360 and put Halo 3 in. I just played my first game of Halo 3 in 5 years. Man that first game was poor.