a thread dedicated to people in need of advice for relationships and physical intimacy. be kind, helpful, and keep your thumbs to yourself.
The Official Girl Help/Issue/Talk Thread 2: Re-Entry
Yea I'm fine but she just...cried so much. We talked about it for a pretty long time and she actually understood. I just felt like we were getting too close to the point where it became more "serious" and it felt like I was leading her on at that point.
We still haven't worked out if we're doing the whole "never talk again" thing or not, but she really wants me to still be "in her life" or whatever.
You need to be strong, if you felt like you were leading her on while you guys were together, then you need to be direct about being broken up. She will try to communicate with you and weasel her way back into your life, and if you dont want that you need to cut ties immediately. Itll be tough on her initially but in the end it will help her move forward and recover faster than if you guys keep talking
sup people, first time posting in this thread. Pretty cool to see this kind of thread actually.
I want to go into details on the girl that i have an interest in for quite some time, but she is complected and explaining everything about her would take a century (even i haven't figured her out yet). I'm 80% sure she has depression, and the times we have been the closest, and when i have felt her compassion back, was when i was helping her through something. We get along much better when its just us two, but she seems to never want to hang out with 'just' me. So its hard to get far when we are always with our other friends. How do i get around that? i have asked her if she wanted to chill with just me 3 times now, and each time i get a vague answer or a rejection.
Anyway we have been friends for a while but we are still getting to know each other more and more. She would never rush herself into a relationship unless she really wanted to, she has rejected other guys once she became more close with them. I dont really want to make that mistake. How do i get close to her but not to the point where she completely rejects me?
So sorry if i didn't really ask much or whatever, just want some general help and advice, also wanted to get it off my chest and tell some people. Thanks.
XYOX
I'm sorry to hear that happened Brandon. These things happen, and they are not things that break us down.
These are things that shape us, and teach us where our focus in life is, at this very moment.
She might not see it through those tears, but her very life is changing based off of you alone in a very mature way.
As are YOU.
It does feel good to know that someone else understands, though. So keep on going bro.
Pizza.
I think from my personal experiences that without a diehard attitude towards any future; there isn't a point.
Clarifying that; I think that you should go balls out into any relationship that you feel prepared for independently.
Which is is really just saying that you either do it or you don't.
If you feel like you need to question yourself on how you should ask instead of tell that person how you feel, in this moment. Moving slow, is really moving at your own pace.
If that person isn't at your pace, then you and that person understand those risks and fight for a more understanding future.
OR
You and that person may just not work at that point in life, or ever. & that's okay.
BUT
I can't help but to naturally believe that there is another passion in life needing you and her's attention. I have reason to believe that love/commitment will always be there to surprise you when it's ready to enter the life that you will or do have. I believe that there are many passions in life besides love for one being, and since they help make who you are, it also leads me to believe that they are something you sometimes need to get through to understand completely what you want.On the other hand, I also believe you should pounce at any chance when you feel comfortable in doing so. If it's just shyness/nerves, push through it I say. I just hope you know that
you are the most important person in your own life. You are the person that you want to be. It's that cut and dry.
So what ever happens in between, like this hard choice in your mind, you must realize that you are a big deal, and what ever may happen.
You will still accomplish whatever you feel you can. You must make those decisions alone. I can only tell you my thoughts.
I don't know if I answered that correctly, but I hope it helped!
slater ohm
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I couldn't ever get into Tinder or dating apps or sites like that. Although I've seen some success stories, I kind of shy away from that type of interaction. Something tells me the kind of women I like don't need to funnel men into an assembly line. I don't like competing with a bunch of thirsty drones.
Yea I'm fine but she just...cried so much. We talked about it for a pretty long time and she actually understood. I just felt like we were getting too close to the point where it became more "serious" and it felt like I was leading her on at that point.
We still haven't worked out if we're doing the whole "never talk again" thing or not, but she really wants me to still be "in her life" or whatever.
If you're still in her life she's not going to get over you. It's extremely hard to go from being with someone to just being friends with them, it's not like you can just drop the whole romantic act overnight. You've been less and less interested in her romantically for a while so you're comfortable with your situation. This is all very new to her, so she wants you around to kind of ween herself off, or try and get you to come back.
sup people, first time posting in this thread. Pretty cool to see this kind of thread actually.
I want to go into details on the girl that i have an interest in for quite some time, but she is complected and explaining everything about her would take a century (even i haven't figured her out yet). I'm 80% sure she has depression, and the times we have been the closest, and when i have felt her compassion back, was when i was helping her through something. We get along much better when its just us two, but she seems to never want to hang out with 'just' me. So its hard to get far when we are always with our other friends. How do i get around that? i have asked her if she wanted to chill with just me 3 times now, and each time i get a vague answer or a rejection.
Anyway we have been friends for a while but we are still getting to know each other more and more. She would never rush herself into a relationship unless she really wanted to, she has rejected other guys once she became more close with them. I dont really want to make that mistake. How do i get close to her but not to the point where she completely rejects me?
So sorry if i didn't really ask much or whatever, just want some general help and advice, also wanted to get it off my chest and tell some people. Thanks.
I can tell from reading your post that she isn't the kind of girl to get involved in relationships, especially if you're not the only one she is rejecting. She might very well have intimacy issues. The last girl I talked to before I started dating my current girlfriend was great, but everytime we got super close she would freak out. She had abysmal daddy issues, and of course now that I'm dating my current girlfriend she is trying to get with me.
If you're still in her life she's not going to get over you. It's extremely hard to go from being with someone to just being friends with them, it's not like you can just drop the whole romantic act overnight. You've been less and less interested in her romantically for a while so you're comfortable with your situation. This is all very new to her, so she wants you around to kind of ween herself off, or try and get you to come back.
Nah I mean I really don't think she's trying to get me back. I didn't just break up with her, I explained the whole thing with me (extremely limited emotional range/"real" human connection seeming to just not be in the cards for me etc.) and she said it sucked knowing that she never made me feel the way I made her feel. She knows it's never going to happen and we aren't living happily ever after. She said she knew it would torture her but she'd endure it because she couldn't imagine living her life without me in it.
Of course she could just be like, idk, blindly optimistic in her own head or something.
Uh oh
The girl (I guess I can call her my ex now?) was texting me today. I decided to ask her how she liked the hooking up/sex/oral/kissing because I figured now that it's kinda over she would more likely be honest and it's good to get feedback on things like that. She replies, "Well, it's not like we're never going to do it again or anything..."
Windex you're looking pretty correct right about now lol. Man, and I was just giving Status shit about fucking around and using exes when they clearly have feelings like a week or two ago. I don't like to be a hypocrite so I might have to totally cut everything with the girl because I don't want to hurt her more than I already have.
broke up with my girl today. it was just going way too fast. she couldn't see that I was uncomfortable, despite giving off those vibes for like the last 2 weeks. I am not ready fir a serious and committed relationship and she got too attached. I hate those long texts you get after a break up where a million questions are asked and you just don't wanna talk anymore.
